Forum for residents of St Georges Park and Long Leys Road Lincoln

The Silent Treatment



A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other
the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would
need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight.


Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am" He left it ...

Things were really bad at home.

She's sick of me, said I think more of sport than I do of her.

Football, golf, rugby, fishing, a little bet on the horses.

Anyway I decided to book a table for two for 8pm, by 9pm things were 10 times worse...

She hadn't even potted a single red by then!

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at
the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the
nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward
the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman ...

Paddy & Murphy reading headstones. Paddy says, "Murphy, there's a bloke here who was 152".
Murphy says, "what was his name".
Paddy says, "Miles from London"

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my ...

I'VE BEEN SAVING THESE UP AND I DON'T THINK THEY ARE OUT OF CRACKERS, ALTHOUGH SOME ARE BAD ENOUGH TO BE!!

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic ...

Heard this one on the radio today which made me chuckle:

(Q) Whats the difference between the England football team and Lewis Hamilton?

(A) Lewis Hamilton still has a McLaren.

The man who invented the Remote Control died this week.

He wants his ashes placing down the side of the settee.