Forum for residents of St Georges Park and Long Leys Road Lincoln

Paddy went to the doctors with 2 burnt ears.

What happened Paddy, said the Doctor

Well I was ironing when the phone rang and I accidently put the iron to my ear.

What happened to the other ear said the doctor

2 minutes later they phoned back !!

I bought an Advent calendar the other day from Woolworths.

Trouble was the windows were all boarded up and there was nothing inside!!!

Paddy is sat at home doing a crossword.

"Mick" he shouts "I'm stuck on 3 down, six & seven letters a flightless bird from Iceland".

Mick ponders for a minute and says, "Your tick paddy that's easy, frozen chicken"

Paddy booked his holiday flight the other day.
The clerk asked 'How many people are travelling with you?'

Paddy said, 'I don't know, it's your bloody plane!'

A cargo ship loaded with red paint collided with another cargo ship carrying blue paint.

All the crew were marooned!

Pat and Mick were filling their white transit van up with fuel ,when paddy
spotted a sign advertising a competition with free sex for the winners .
When he had paid he asked the attendant how he qualified for the free sex ,
and the man said you just have to guess what number i've got in my mind
between 1 to 10. Paddy said number 4 and the man said hard luck paddy it ...

A professor teaching medicine at the university was tutoring a
class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid.
"This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be
observant to color, smell, sight, and taste."

After saying this, he dipped his finger into the jar and put
it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust.
But being the good students that they were, the ...

There is a bus with 7 girls.
Each girl has 7 bags.
In each bag, there are 7 big cats
Each big cat has 7 little cats.


Each cat has 4 legs.


Question: How many legs are present in the bus?



Number of legs is the password to open the attached file. (I can confirm it is virus free BTW)

If you open the file, the idea was to write your name on the list ...

2 old smug councillors leaning against the gate looking across into Bakers Field.

One says to the other I've felt a bit rough of late, I think i'll go and use my clout and book my plot.

The other one says, I haven't felt better in a long time, in fact I feel like a new born baby

Is that so says the first councillor (insert your own desired names)

Yes he says, No teeth, ...

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help I'm a Physical Therapist and I ...